Children need our simple, unadulterated egoless presence and attention.this allows us to meet a childs need and offer a home that is filled with a loving atmosphere. these few points may help:
Clarity of perception: Being quiet within allows you to experience the present moment, without any ego distortions. Hence you will see the true needs of the children at that given moment, rather than viewing the situation through the distorted lens of your own egoic concerns. All parents feel the pressures of the ego as they try to balance the demands of parenthood and life.It allows a parent to calmly recognise and attend to a childs need for love, rather than reacting egoistically at the inconvenience of a childs cry.,
100% Attention: distracted by the ego's need for recognition can easily trap us in the drama of life.etty drama of their own ego, This can be particularly true when teenage years awaken renewwed egoic demands of a youth. It is as if nothing will satsify the. Yet respopnding egically in kind only prevents the real message of the cry from being heard. Full attention, free of the ego's distortion, allows the child to sense they are being fully heard.An adult frightened of losing authority and a child scared of the confusuion that he or she may nit even fully admit too are poor co,panions. Learn to let go of the ego and listen in love.
This kind of attention will offer the child a platform to grow. in confidence and allow his or her talents to flow from the heart.
Avoid Irritation and Anger Living without ego distortion will automatically reduce this problem. I know my past parental failings were linked to my changing mood (aggravated by certain medicational side effects) and the pressures of life. For this reason developing the practice of mindfulness meditation can help us to learn to be quickly centred. Once we learn to be able to switch our states to our inner self, the neurolgical pattern can be called upon quickly to see things calmly before we respond. There is something in the old adage of stopping and counting to ten, taking a few breaths and relaxing.If the situation is so tense you cant relax, ask for a few minutes time out and keep to the promise to discuss the situation when you can think clearly.
The unfortunate response is to reactively defend our ego, teaching the fertile minds of our children that it s OK to burst forth in anger when tired or distressed
See reality not our image of the child: how may parents live their failed expectations though their children. The childs image is often a response to the fathers projections placed on him. Rather than calmly wirtnessing the childs growth, a man playing the role of father is infact projecting his ideals on the son. Parental influences are of course needed, the problen is that fear based projections inhibit the natural flowering of a childs uniqueness. The images and mind games of the ego take the child away from her natural self, and inhibit an honest self appraisal and self love, whchmay taint a childs own view of relationships. .
Many relationship conflicts are aided by being in a state of inner peace. Seeking inner calm before approaching a challenging relationship, be it via meditation or prayer,often seems to result in the other person sensing they have no need to be defensive. Perhaps we send out subtle non threatening signals that disarm the other. Even if the other os determine d to battle mindful awareness allows us to see the true nature of the persons fears. This allows us to deal with the ituation as it is and not as fear based egoism says that it should be.
Of course meditation is great for kids too and we will be discussing this in the next part of this series.
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