Personal Distraction Assistant

They call it convenience. Don’t miss a call, be available, have it when you want it. …..Er who are they kidding? Why do I want a call when I spend time with the love of my life? Or to be hassled by ceaseless ringing in deep meditation? Yet we are so conditioned we wait on our Persomal Distraction Acessories (PDA’s) as if they have some divine right to control our lives. Some are so use to the calls they are almost restless without them. I suppose it’s this generations equivalent to not feeling at ease unless the television is humming oin the background. I even heard a name for this sense of unease: Treo Attention Disorder (TAD).

So people go off to some course, spend a fortune in tuition fees and then spend the weekend excusing themselves to answer those ‘convenience’ calls that [revent us from getting the full benefit of the training.
Then there’s the bluetooth. Hey, when I went to school people were said to be mad if they talked to themselves! Now, are they smiling at me or someone on the other side of the planet?

But I have to take the call!
Really? Is it that life changing? Since when was not having a mobile a capital offence? The mobile culture is entirely voluntary and of course these little gadgets have their place. But who rules who here?

Who runs the show? Me? You? Or the barrage of telephone spam assaulting our intelligence?

There is a lot of talk about living in the now. Meditation teachers talk about Present Moment Awareness, Deepak Chopra speaks of being in the Gap.
The Chassidic writers also spoke of being true to the moment and being fully present. They used the word Penimiyut, which means “innerness”. The power of this idea is that at this moment – right now, what you are doing at this moment is the most important thing in the world.
Think about it. If what I am doing right now is the most important thing in the world , then is it worthy of me? If I truly appreciate the now, then is what I am doing truly the most important thing I could do right now?
Is that phone call really that important?

Penimiyut is perhaps the antidote for TAD.

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Enlightened Parent - Enlightened Child

Children need our simple, unadulterated egoless presence and attention.this allows us to meet a childs need and offer a home that is filled with a loving atmosphere. these few points may help:
Clarity of perception: Being quiet within allows you to experience the present moment, without any ego distortions. Hence you will see the true needs of the children at that given moment, rather than viewing the situation through the distorted lens of your own egoic concerns. All parents feel the pressures of the ego as they try to balance the demands of parenthood and life.It allows a parent to calmly recognise and attend to a childs need for love, rather than reacting egoistically at the inconvenience of a childs cry.,

100% Attention: distracted by the ego's need for recognition can easily trap us in the drama of life.etty drama of their own ego, This can be particularly true when teenage years awaken renewwed egoic demands of a youth. It is as if nothing will satsify the. Yet respopnding egically in kind only prevents the real message of the cry from being heard. Full attention, free of the ego's distortion, allows the child to sense they are being fully heard.An adult frightened of losing authority and a child scared of the confusuion that he or she may nit even fully admit too are poor co,panions. Learn to let go of the ego and listen in love.

This kind of attention will offer the child a platform to grow. in confidence and allow his or her talents to flow from the heart.

Avoid Irritation and Anger Living without ego distortion will automatically reduce this problem. I know my past parental failings were linked to my changing mood (aggravated by certain medicational side effects) and the pressures of life. For this reason developing the practice of mindfulness meditation can help us to learn to be quickly centred. Once we learn to be able to switch our states to our inner self, the neurolgical pattern can be called upon quickly to see things calmly before we respond. There is something in the old adage of stopping and counting to ten, taking a few breaths and relaxing.If the situation is so tense you cant relax, ask for a few minutes time out and keep to the promise to discuss the situation when you can think clearly.
The unfortunate response is to reactively defend our ego, teaching the fertile minds of our children that it s OK to burst forth in anger when tired or distressed

See reality not our image of the child: how may parents live their failed expectations though their children. The childs image is often a response to the fathers projections placed on him. Rather than calmly wirtnessing the childs growth, a man playing the role of father is infact projecting his ideals on the son. Parental influences are of course needed, the problen is that fear based projections inhibit the natural flowering of a childs uniqueness. The images and mind games of the ego take the child away from her natural self, and inhibit an honest self appraisal and self love, whchmay taint a childs own view of relationships. .

Many relationship conflicts are aided by being in a state of inner peace. Seeking inner calm before approaching a challenging relationship, be it via meditation or prayer,often seems to result in the other person sensing they have no need to be defensive. Perhaps we send out subtle non threatening signals that disarm the other. Even if the other os determine d to battle mindful awareness allows us to see the true nature of the persons fears. This allows us to deal with the ituation as it is and not as fear based egoism says that it should be.

Of course meditation is great for kids too and we will be discussing this in the next part of this series.